Wednesday, February 20, 2013

green eyed monster

So lovelies,
everything and nothing has changed since the short time I have been back in Alabama. I still have a job that i don't really care for, although the people I work with have certainly grown on me, we have quite the bunch of characters. Pretty much everybody is out of their mind crazy and that suits me just fine. I have tried to look for other work had a few prospects but nothing came to be, which leads me to the title of this post. I have been wallowing in a bit of self pity since i have moved back home, it got to be kind of disheartening to see the majority of people i had gone to school with at much further along with their life than i was, it seemed they all have either finished school, started "big kid" jobs, been successfully married for longer than a year, most of them have at least three kids (no joke) there you go i felt insecure and inadequate...and jealous. I have literally sat down and cried many times kicking myself for the journey i have taken myself on to become such a "looser". Thankfully I have such a wonderful family that know exactly how to give my motivation and ego the little pushes i need to carry on and put my big girl panties on,get out of my sweatpants (well actually they stay on), take a shower, wipe the runny mascara off, put the icecream back in the freezer, and rule the world! I finally have an opportunity to pursue my dreams while surrounded by my precious support group. Even though my path might not be as traditional as other people i know i actually prefer it that way. Once you realize that you don't even really want the things that you're jealous of and all that you ever wanted was to be successful doing what you love, then that my friends is a very good thing. I guess you could call this my Scarlet O'hara moment, before you all I swear that no matter what I have to do, the whole world be danged, I am going to succeed at what i put my hand to. So there!