Leggo my Eggo!

My birthday is coming up in about t-minus two days! let the count down begin for the big two-six! June 8th has always been my favorite holiday, because lets face it, I am a huge narcissist. I love love LOVE being the center of attention! I know your thinking "geez what a brat" (which i am, so get over it) I really cant help that  I am this way because I am the very definition of of Gemini. If you were to go into most books about astrology and turn to the Gemini section you would basically see a photo album of me and my high-jinks. This explains my inconstant blog posting, emotional decision making, self centered attitude, and inability to finish one project, buuuuuttttt I am not a lost cause! I promise! I feel like this is the year that I am going to triumph and grow up, in fact I know it, because (here's the bombshell) Im PREGNANT! yep, my eggo is preggo!

(this is when the nugget was 8 weeks, now it is 14 weeks)

Before your like "wow, call DHR, or 911, this unstable lady is gonna be in charge of birthing and raising another human life?!!" I am not that bad! Even though the circumstances may not meet the general public's standards, but you know that's okay because life isn't perfect. This chance to have a little human to snuggle and make blanket forts with lights up my very existence.

Sometimes I feel like people try to tell single women with children that they can't pursue their dreams, joy, or relationships, and excuse my language but that is total crap! I know the road ahead of me is not going to be paved with platinum and diamonds, in fact it will probably be paved with raging diarrhea, mushrooms, and raw onions. (things that are gross, if i must clarify) So basically life WILL be very hard, BUT every triumph I experience will be with my little nugget in my arms. That in itself is a triumph!

green eyed monster

So lovelies,
everything and nothing has changed since the short time I have been back in Alabama. I still have a job that i don't really care for, although the people I work with have certainly grown on me, we have quite the bunch of characters. Pretty much everybody is out of their mind crazy and that suits me just fine. I have tried to look for other work had a few prospects but nothing came to be, which leads me to the title of this post. I have been wallowing in a bit of self pity since i have moved back home, it got to be kind of disheartening to see the majority of people i had gone to school with at much further along with their life than i was, it seemed they all have either finished school, started "big kid" jobs, been successfully married for longer than a year, most of them have at least three kids (no joke)............so there you go i felt insecure and inadequate...and jealous. I have literally sat down and cried many times kicking myself for the journey i have taken myself on to become such a "looser". Thankfully I have such a wonderful family that know exactly how to give my motivation and ego the little pushes i need to carry on and put my big girl panties on,get out of my sweatpants (well actually they stay on), take a shower, wipe the runny mascara off, put the icecream back in the freezer, and rule the world! I finally have an opportunity to pursue my dreams while surrounded by my precious support group. Even though my path might not be as traditional as other people i know i actually prefer it that way. Once you realize that you don't even really want the things that you're jealous of and all that you ever wanted was to be successful doing what you love, then that my friends is a very good thing. I guess you could call this my Scarlet O'hara moment, before you all I swear that no matter what I have to do, the whole world be danged, I am going to succeed at what i put my hand to. So there!

long time no blog

Hello my darlings,
I am sorry i am such a naughty blogger and never update, but i have been incredibly busy the last month. Since my last post i have officially moved to Alabama! Although it was a bit of a bumpy ride getting here, I didn't know where i was going to be living until about 5 days before i was set to move. I had two living situations fall through, but as they say, it all worked out for the best! My cousin needed a roomie since she had just bought the cutest 1920's bungalow, i love this house! my bedroom is bigger than my last apartment, seriously, no joking here. The neighborhood is sort of in the middle of revitalization, which means it is like 2 blocks from the "ghetto" haha. That being said i really enjoy my neighborhood, i love the diversity, i love all of its little quirks. I love stalking my family and making them hang out with me :-) i actually get to eat dinner with them, and just pop in because im in the neighborhood, snuggle with my mommy. Its perfect! The only thing i haaaaaaaaaate is my job. yup. I hate it. Its really unfortunate because it is the same brand that i worked for before, but it is a different management company so they way it is run is really frustrating. I am currently in the process of searching for a new jobby. I have already applied to another establishment and am crossing my fingers i get it! If i do i will share what it is, it is slightly naughty and lots of fun, that is the only hint i am giving now. so stay tuned folks.

and the saga continues

I am the worst blog owner ever....seriously. I probably deserve to be banned from blogging for life but thankfully the blog gestapo haven't been trolling around on my blog so i guess all is good. To educate and update everybody on my life, I am planning on uprooting my little life here in the sunshine state and moving it back to sweet home Alabama. It was kind of a sudden decision but the moment that the idea popped in my head, i immediately surrendered to it, no point in fighting your heart when it is homesick. I am so excited to be a part of my family's life again, to possibly be able to go to school again, to have access to a huge library system and a crapload of awesome thriftstores so the dork in me can go hog wild! There are so many pro's to me going but there are a few major cons. I am going to miss the heck-o-la out of my handsome boyfriend! It is going to be incredibly hard to wake up with out my big strong man by my side. Im going to really miss not having my snuggle partner to watch movies with. I wish i could convince him to come with me but i know if he did he would be just as homesick as i am here. Till the day i move i plan on taking pictures of everybody i love here and every nit-picky little building that i drive by everyday and have grown to love because i dont know the next time i will be back. This is pretty much a bitter sweet kind of thing for me. Im gonna be moving to a new house (thank you precious lord in the sky! I am so sick of my stupid craphole apartment!) hopefully that actually has hot water (plz, plz, plz) I am going to be with my family every stinking minute, prob to the point where they are going to sit me down and tell me they need "them" time. I am going to start a new job (well same job, just different store) I am really nervous about this! The store that i work at I am seriously in love with all my co-workers and managers, no joking here, so the thought of going to a new place and that happening are slim to none i feel, but we will see, open mind open heart here. I have to come up with about a million dollars in 2 weeks which is craaaaazy! its not gonna happen but anyways, either way i am moving and that is final, whether i have to trow my stuff into a little hanky over my shoulder and hop freight trains i am going back home, but again i wish my ultra handsome man could fit into my hanky too then this would be ultra perfect.

Dog Bites and Diamonds

This weekend was filled with so much drama it was unbelievable! I had to "call out" of work on sunday because i was crying like a maniac. These tears were caused by my super adorable but super terrible puppies, who decided it would be a good idea to bite my neighbors dog. I know they sound vicious but trust me they are the complete opposite and the most vicious thing they do is run around my house and try to catch the flies that have broken into my house in their mouths. I mean these fur creatures are just straight up love bugs, and no i am not just saying that because they are mine and i am biased, it's the honest to dog truth! so anyways my one puppy, panda, escaped my clutches for a minute and ran around the other corner of my house where my neighbor just so happened to come out of his house to take his gorgeous collie for a walk and then the tragedy happened. panda nipped him! obviously I was pissed at panda, my neighbor was pissed at both of us and im pretty sure wanted us both in prison. I grabbed panda and roxie and ushered them back inside my house while repeating apologies, i felt terrible! I wrote my neighbor a note and stuck it to his door so he would see it when he got back continuing to apologize and appealing to him to let us have a fresh start as neighbors, about two minutes late this angry man came knocking on my door, threatening me with calling animal control and having my dogs quarantined. I broke down and cried like a baby in front of this guy, basically begging like an idiot. It was so embarrassing. I can totally understand his anger, but under the circumstances and the severity of the incident he was being a total dick about it. This is what my theory is, panda escaped from me, she went around the corner expecting freedom and a game of chase from mom, instead saw a much bigger dog, was surprised and scared, and in order to show the bigger dog she wasn't to be messed with, bit the dogs poor little bottom. There was no "dog fight" worthy biting it was a single nip so i think threat of police involvement and doggie foster homes was a bit of overkill. Oh well, I plan on making halloween cookies and taking them to my neighbor anyway so maybe they will get over it.

       Okay so enough drama, I want to talk about my secret guilty pleasure and i'm sure many of you women share this with me, secret engagement ring shopping! First of all, I am in no way, shape, or form in anyway about to get engaged. My boyfriend and I just got back together after taking a two week breakup from each other, but that doesn't stop a girl from planning her future wedding. You cant exactly tell your BF that you have been gazing at diamond rings all day without him getting weirded out, ya know? here are some of the beautys i have been coveting lately (and let it be known i am quirky and may not want an actual diamond, i cant decide)

here is my absolute fav! I am in love with rose gold.

Once again another rose gold ring, but so georgeous!

This one is just whimsical and cute! I love that it says oui' on the side!

and last but not least a more traditional style ring. (but still a little funky)

src1,2,3.,4

    So that about raps up my drama and my secret diamond shopping from this weekend, but don't worry folks i have more of my drama coming your way soon. Loves, Claire

they shine for you.

I live next to the beach and if you knew me this is not exactly the location you think i would hand pick because:

1. I do not tan,  in fact i am medically not allowed to, already had some nasty skin cancer taken off.
2. I am terrified of sharks, its a serious phobia, i even freak out about going swimming in the deep end of pools. you know, just in case a shark accidentally got in.
3. getting sand on my body, in my car, on the floor in my house drives me crazy
4. basically i am a vampire and don't exit my house until its dark outside. on the real.

 so there are the reasons why people think i am weird when i say i chose to live next to the beach but here are the reasons i love living next to the beach:

1. i live in a craphole of an apartment, i mean it is pathetic, if i lived in this same apartment away from the beach it would be called a crackden, but since it is next to the beach people say "omg! your so lucky! you live next to the beach!" not "omg! this is disgusting, this is not fit for a crackwhore, how do you stand it!"
2. I take comfort in knowing that the ocean is there, i mean i can hear it, i can smell it, it makes me know that the world is still turning and i am still on this planet
3. The stars! no place else can i go out in my backyard and not have trees blocking my view of the stars plus the lack of street lights and huge city life makes star viewing way more, well, viewable!    

So there you have it. and actually reason number 3 should be number 1. because star gazing is pretty much my current passion. I have made a habit of laying on this boat in my backyard and waiting for shooting starts. I refuse to go inside till i see at least 3 shooting stars which lately takes a million years but thats fine because our galaxy is literally the finest work of art! I get all emo and think about how everybody that has ever taken breath on this planet has looked at the same stars that i look at every night. I imagine them thinking about the same things i do. How small i am, compared to how big the galaxy is. How i don't know how i got to this place in my life. How i wonder if i will ever make a difference in this world. I know that everybody has to think those same things when they stare at the stars. It makes me feel connected to the earth, and this universe in a way i cant even explain. Is that crazy?

poppy fields

You know when you look at somebody that has used drugs for so long and completely ruined their life? You probably think why did they even start, i mean everybody knows what the end looks like, how could you possibly even begin. I think i finally understand. There comes a point in your life where everyday and every little scenario feels like you have been swimming for days and are waiting for the coast guard, you are so tired, waves keep splashing you in the face, salt water gushes into your nose and your throat and for a moment you stop swimming. As you begin slowly sinking you can see the the sun shining through the water and your air bubbles rising to meet the surface, you realize this is easier and decide not to try anymore. I feel like at the moment (tomorrow will be different im sure) im tired of swimming. Drugs are not in my future but it would be nice to live in opium den and never feel anything again. I know that if i just open up the one window in my house and see the sun i will feel differently, but here in my crypt of darkness i almost feel complete, this is the way i was meant to live.